Like most screenwriters, I am a tad jealous on the morning after the Oscars, but more mystified by all the righteousness in the opinions about what the Academy should or shouldn’t have rewarded this time around. It’s not a national film academy with a public mandate, it’s a professional association obsessively protective of its own brand. As far as the two best screenplay awards go, I’m just glad to see them go to earnest writers rather than offered as consolation prizes to the loser in the best director or best film category.

Oh! Dessa!

I am, however, overwhelmingly jealous of the writers of tabloid headlines. I was born for that job! Reading Vladimir Putin’s self-serving comments about the U.S. and NATO’s double standards today, I muttered “Putin To O: ‘CRIMEA RIVER!’

They’re pun-happy and tasteless and veer hard to the Right, these tabloid writers. But the liberals who don’t admit to at least a little soft spot for their best work take themselves far too seriously – and might even do their own cause a disservice.